Life is a beautiful package deal

How many times have we heard people saying, “I hate this life?” Everyone feels that his/her life is a hell, while all others are having a great fun. Life seems to be a stream of miseries from birth to death. At every step of life, we have something to complain about – be it a job, location, weather, finance, appearance, parents, friends, children, health, spouse, boss, colleagues, systems or destiny. The famous poet Nida Fazli has rightly captured this sentiment in the following couplet:

“Kabhi Kisi Ko Muqamal Jahan Nahin Milta

Kahin Zamin To Kahin Aasmaan Nahi Milta”

[No one ever gets a complete world,

Sometime the ground and sometime the sky is missing.]

Are we then destined to suffer in life? I believe it depends upon us. It depends upon how we look at life. If we look at one aspect in isolation of all other aspects, then we will always find something amiss. However, the nature has designed this world in a package form. A rose always blooms with thorns to protect its tender petals. Scorching sun is always followed by the comforting moon. A physical disability is counterbalanced by extra-ordinary efficiency of some other organ. You may not have a high-profile job, but may be free from a dreaded disease. You may not have a home of your own, but you may have friends to host you anywhere in the world. You may not have a fat bank-balance, but you may win hearts by sharing whatever you have. Your appearance may not be attractive, but your personality may be influential. Your spouse may not measure up to your expectations, but he/she may be able to complement your short-comings. Your parents may not be modern, but their hearts may be filled with unconditional love. Your children may not have done well in studies, but they may respect you and hold highest regards for the humanity. You may not have scaled great heights in your career, but you may have been blessed with understanding bosses and compassionate colleagues. You may have only one friend, but he/she may be the one with whom you can open your heart. You may not be living in a happening city, but you may create your own world of interesting hobbies. You may have to deal with a corrupt system, but you may use it to test your own moral strength. In the nature, perfection of a whole is the sum total of its seemingly imperfect parts. The sign that adorned wall of Einstein’s office at Princeton read, “Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.”

Destiny is directly proportional to what we have or haven’t done. There is no use of complaining about destiny. Worrying will not take away tomorrow’s troubles; it will only take away today’s peace. E. M. Foster says, “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Same actions will always produce same results. If we want something to change, we have to do something different. Every difficulty is an opportunity to rise above present condition. Nature brings about growth in everything through challenging circumstances. The very birth of a child is through intense pain of delivery. Let’s develop a wholesome view of every situation. Life is indeed a beautiful package deal.

Analysis paralysis

We need information to make decisions at every stage of our lives. But, how much information is enough to make a ‘good’ decision. Unfortunately, there is neither fixed rule nor standard guidelines to follow. Choice is entirely individual. We generally believe that more the information better will be the decision. But, is it really so? This is what Sharon Begley has attempted to answer in her article (“Too much data leads to fatigue”, KT, 2nd Mar 2011).

It is now certain that more information, beyond a point, is indeed counter-productive. We often find people locked-up in the state of ‘analysis paralysis’. They either take no decision or pick a poorer alternative. Internet has opened a flood-gate of information. The convenience of finding more information tempts us to continue the search. In the process, we even lose focus on the goal of the search. When should you stop searching for more information? Sometimes, an external deadline helps in breaking this deadlock. We are forced to stop the search and take some decision. But, what if there was no deadline set?

A silver lining is provided by Malcolm Gladwell in his famous book, “The Blink”. According to him, our subconscious mind is like a giant computer which can process enormous amount of information at lightning speed and provide the results in form of ‘gut-feelings’ or intuitions. For example, when we meet a person first time, we instantly get a gut-feeling about that person, while our conscious mind is still busy forming an opinion. We often also realize later that our intuitive feelings were much more on target than the informed opinions provided by our conscious mind. This is because our subconscious mind is able to absorb and process much more information about the person we are meeting, such as the body language, subtle mannerisms, voice quality, body contact, etc. In a group or large gathering, our subconscious mind can even be trained to tap into what is known as ‘universal mind’ with unlimited power. He, therefore, suggests developing sharp receptivity for intuitions / gut-feelings and incorporating the same into the decision making process by the conscious mind.

We must also accept that no decision can be ‘perfect’. We would stop learning if all decisions were perfect. A ‘timely’ decision is more important than a ‘perfect’ decision. We tend to learn more from our bad decisions than a delayed perfect decision. Delaying a decision on the excuse of inadequate information is an attempt to evade responsibility in life. We are too scared to face a failure. However, knocks and shocks of various circumstances, indeed, shape and enrich our lives. Information is a tool, not the goal. Given the same amount of information, different people would take different decisions based on their individual maturity, background and needs. Hence, there cannot be a universally correct decision for everybody. Using the same stock market information, one person feels happy to sell a stock while another person happily buys the same stock. It is important to collect relevant information and pursue methodical analysis. But, we should also keep our intuition antenna up and stop further analysis as soon as strong intuitive feelings arise about a certain course of action.

Next time you go shopping and get lost on many equally tempting items, don’t turn to your spouse or friend for help. They will confuse you more. Just close your eyes while holding each item and turn inward for signals from within. The voice for the most favourable item will be loud and clear. Can there be an easier way to deal with ‘analysis paralysis’?

Office in the Swimming Pool

Bravo Bikram Vohra for presenting a true metaphor of an office life in form of various people visiting a swimming pool (“I know the people in the pool”, Wknd. 25 Feb 2011). They do everything except what they come there for. They float, splash around, sun-tan, exhibit branded gears, make lots of noise, sneak in from behind or under, come and go in a hurry and do monkey business but hardly swim. However, it is ironical that they are the people who get noticed and rewarded, while the quite slogger remains out-of-sight and out-of-mind. They share the same perks and facilities (same water), hardly contributing anything in return. Life seems unfair for those who work. But, oblivious of such unfair treatment, these few individuals at every work place continue to pour their heart into work. They are the rare human darts cutting through the blue water, without any noise and splash, drawing awe and envy of the onlookers. They don’t waste their energy and time in gossiping, criticizing or complaining. They conserve and use their energy in rising to higher orbits of performance. Reward for them is incidental, as they enjoy the very act of doing. Hats off to such Human Darts. Corporate world would do a huge favour to itself by recognizing and rewarding this rare breed of workers.