Being in the Moment

The biggest barrier to our ‘being in the moment’ is our ‘thinking mind’, which carries memories, concepts, fears, expectations and innumerable biases. Our mind likes to take our attention away from the present moment into the past or the future. Consequently, we are hardly present in the present moment, as we strongly identify with our mind. We are where our mind is. Even when we are interacting with any person or object in the present moment, our mind keeps spinning out stories based on insufficient and inaccurate information. The mind filled with such stories inhibit our experiencing the life ‘as it is’ in the present moment. We identify ourselves with these stories so much that any attack on their authenticity provokes strong reactions – often unpleasant. It is a habit developed over a long period of time. We need to learn a new habit of ‘being in the moment’.

Eckhart Tolle, the author of famous book “The Power of Now”, provides an interesting analogy to explain who we are ‘in essence’. Imagine yourself to be a room with walls, floor, ceiling and filled with various stuff, including people. If you were to ask the room, “Who are you?”, the answer most probably would be in terms of its size, shape or its contents. But this answer does not tell what the room ‘in essence’ is. Its shape, size and contents are not constant – they change over time. However, the space occupied by the room is constant and all changes occur in this space. The space is never affected by the stuff inside it. It always remains pure and unbroken. Hence, the room should say, “I am essentially the space”.

Similarly, each one of us is essentially the ever-present consciousness or awareness within which everything else exist and go through changes, including our body, mind and intellect. Animals and plants don’t carry mind and intellect like humans. They are incapable of spinning out speculative stories. But they are alive and do carry their essence in form of consciousness, just like humans. This is why it is easier to relate with a dog or a flower than with another human. Animal’s / plant’s response to our interaction is spontaneous and pure. Even an infant child displays such purity through her eyes as the thinking mind has not yet risen in her. Inanimate objects are devoid of life. However, even they exist in the medium of cosmic consciousness. Consciousness, therefore, is the common ground on which everything in the universe is born, exists and dissolves.

Being in the moment means being fully conscious of the moment. For this to happen, we must recognize our essence as consciousness or awareness, just like the room recognizing its essence as the space, not its contents. We shine our awareness like a flashlight on everything. Through our consciousness, we are aware of things and beings in the world. Through the same consciousness, we are also aware of our own body, feelings, thoughts and understanding – collectively called our personality. We are essentially separate from all that we are aware of.

We should slow down our thinking and allow as many still moments in our life as possible. Whenever facing an issue, ask: “Where am I? Am I caught up by a story fabricated by the mind?” If yes, disengage immediately and step into your consciousness – deeper than the thinking mind. If you are able to step out of your thinking mind even for a moment, you will find relief similar to waking up from a nightmarish dream. This simple step would further bring clarity to your vision. While waiting for your turn in a queue, stuck in the traffic, waiting for the flight, waiting for the elevator and in all such situations, direct your awareness to the breathing process – closely following the flow of air through nose, throat, lungs and abdomen as you inhale and exhale. You will be naturally forced to be present in the present moment while doing this exercise. The more you do this simple practice, the more easily you will be able to shift yourself out of your thinking mind and into your consciousness. Separated from the mind, you can now use the mind more effectively just as you use any gadget for a task. Or, you may choose to keep the mind in the silent mode when you don’t need it. You will develop more alertness in your life and such alertness will also protect you from unwarranted incidents and accidents in life as well as at work. Your actions will be more effective and error-free.

We should also spend more time with the nature observing objects, flowers, birds, sunrise, etc. Observations, devoid of any thinking, would allow us to connect with the essence of things and beings in the nature. Once we have perfected this habit of recognizing the underlying essence in the nature, we can apply the same approach with fellow humans. When we interact with people from the standpoint of our essence (consciousness) and not our thinking mind, we start recognizing their essence and not get carried away by their personalities and stories. Thus, we create a powerful field of positive energy which can bring amazing transformations in the people around us. We should accept the present moment as if chosen by us and embrace whatever it brings. We don't have any other option anyway. Not accepting whatever the present moment brings will take us back into our thinking mind. In the present moment, we are open to all possibilities, ideas, intuitions and inspirations that may transform our own lives with rewarding experiences. The present moment can become a gateway to our happiness.

Understanding Ego

Much has been written and talked about the ego. Some appreciate it; others condemn it. Some want to raise it; others want to destroy it. Some love it; others hate it. So, what is this ego so much in discussion?

Ego is a thought that arises in the mind after every event with a flag “I”. The event could be anything such as: an action; a feeling; an understanding; an achievement; a condition etc. After any event, you say “I did it or I am hungry or I understand or I made it, etc.” Let’s now analyse these statements deeper. When you say, “I am hungry”, isn’t it the body that needs food? Wouldn’t the correct statement be “My body is hungry”? Similarly, shouldn’t I say, “My mind feels this emotion, or my intellect understands this concept, or my body walked to this place and did this work”?

If you examine closely, you would realise that everything is being carried out by various equipments of your personality – physical (Body), emotional (Mind) or intellectual (Intellect) – all in your presence. Body, Mind and Intellect are your possessions, not You. Thus, you are no more than a witness of all events. Ego is a mere function of the mind appropriating everything to itself. Your identification with this function of the mind creates the much talked about ‘Ego’.

Ego, as a function of the mind, is required for living and transacting in the world. But there is no need to identify yourself with the ego or with your body, mind and intellect. You are ever free; you are the boss. These are your possessions working as per their designs. You can simply enjoy watching them work. You can live in the state of eternal peace.

Art of Decision Making

Often, we think that decision making is saying “Yes” to an option. In reality, it is just the opposite. The root Latin of the word decision literally means, “to cut off.” Making a decision is about “cutting off” choices – cutting you off from some other course of action. It is first saying “No” to those options that would not lead us to success and then saying “Yes” to the remaining one that has highest probability of resulting in success.

In day-to-day living, we are taking decisions all the time. However, our decision making mostly happens unconsciously. We are driving and phone rings. Hands automatically go for the phone. We sit down to eat, and hands automatically go for the TV remote. It is as if we are living on an auto-pilot mode. The problem with such living is that we are unable to say “No” to all those things that distract us from the path of growth, success and happiness in life.

What we need is to be conscious of what we are doing moment-to-moment. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in his book “Flow”, says that human mind cannot process more than 110 bits of information per second. He further says that you need to process 60 bits of information per second to fully understand what someone is saying. Because of this limitation, we cannot understand more than 2 people talking.

We have often been told to pay attention to what we are doing, as if attention is some kind of money which we can be paid. Nature, indeed, empowers us with an attention currency of 110 bits of information every second. The question then is where and how are we spending this currency. When we are on the ‘auto-pilot’ mode of living, this precious currency is squandered by engaging in multiple worthless tasks such as regretting about past actions which cannot be changed or worrying about the future which is not yet born.

Being conscious in a moment means fully attentive – ability to use all of 110 bits of information on a given task in that moment. Mihaly calls this a state of “ecstasy”, when you lose yourself in the moment and you are said to be “in the flow”. All great works of science, art and literature have come out of this ‘flow’. When you are so attentive every moment of your life, you would be able to say “No” to all the worthless thoughts and temptations before they take possession of your mind and drive you towards actions that cannot result in growth, success and happiness in life.

Decide wisely, decide consciously and decide moment-to-moment.

Friend and Foe

I am my friend, I am my foe

Lightly I take any temptation

Allow it to live and grow

Slowly it gains power

And, I let it flow

Gripped by the force of Desire

All cautions I throw

Got to have it

Only thought that flow

Can’t get it

Anger arise and blow

Burning with rage

Ready to tear and torpedo

If I get, I want more

Greed, pride, fear and jealousy dance a tango

Had I paused and questioned the temptation

Are you going to make my heart glow?

Many temptations may quietly leave

And, those passing the test, I endow

Love, Compassion, Charity and Devotion

Flowering my life with gusto

I am my friend, I am my foe

Who I am?

I don’t know who I am

Husband, Brother, Friend and Foe

Change is constant wherever I go

Son I was, Grandpa I am

I don’t know who I am

Infant, Child, Adult and Old

Sometime silver, sometime gold

Tiny born, Tall I am

I don’t know who I am

Success, Failure, Loss and Win

All of them, I have seen

Chasing happiness, Content I am

I don’t know who I am

Greed, Anger, Worry and Hope

Always visiting mental home

My Heart says, Love I am

I don’t know who I am

Born in India, now in Bahrain

I have walked long in rain

Dependent I was, Independent I am

I don’t know who I am

Whatever you call me, I am not

Whatever I am, you know not

I may not know, who I am

But I know, I am

Happiness Formula

Who doesn’t want to be happy? We seek happiness in and through all our activities consciously or unconsciously. However, everyone defines happiness in his/her own way. Martin Seligman, founder of the Positive Psychology, defines happiness through the following formula:

Happiness = Pleasure + Engagement + Meaning

Pleasure is the lowest form of happiness. It is derived from fulfilling base desires mostly connected with the sense objects. You feel pleasure when you eat your desired chocolate. But this pleasure doesn’t last long. Also, it follows the law of diminishing returns. Your pleasure starts reducing as you eat more chocolates. This type of happiness is short-lived and often ends in misery.

Engagement involves others and beyond your own basic desires. It brings greater joy. When you are engaged in a sport or social activity, you feel much happier than simply eating a chocolate. Engagement may start with working for your family’s welfare. But as you enlarge your area of engagement, the happiness also increases. However, even this happiness may wear off with time as you feel exhausted. Ego plays at subtle levels looking for recognition at the least from such engagements.

Meaning is following your own internal calling. Every atom has a place and purpose in the universe. Try to identify what is your innermost calling and then pursue that in and through all your activities. All great people found their respective callings and invested their entire lives following it. Chade-Meng Tan of Google has found meaning in making the whole world happy through his successful in-house course “Search Inside Yourself” within Google (now also available in form of a book).

Many of us fail to find our inner calling. There is an easier way to find it. Start listing what is not your inner calling by putting down a desirous activity and then listening to your heart. That which doesn’t ring a bell in the heart is not your inner calling. This process of elimination will ultimately lead to that which resonates with your heart and in line with your conscience.

Those following their callings see deeper meaning in what they do - much beyond selfish desires and goals. Working with such frame of mind doesn’t drain your energy. On the other hand, you become a dynamo of energy. Happiness arising out of such pursuit is the highest and ever-lasting.

Art of Listening and Learning

Any effective communication or learning starts with ‘listening’ or ‘reading’. Listening is not mere hearing. In Tibetans monastery, ‘pot’ analogy is given to explain listening.

If you want to fill a pot with clean water, following three conditions must be satisfied:

1.  The pot must not be kept upside down. No water can enter a pot which is not rightly positioned. Similarly, the listener must pay attention to the speaker. If one’s attention is somewhere else or wandering in different directions, nothing will be received or will be received in bits and pieces which is worse than not listening at all.
2. The pot must not be dirty. If it is dirty, the water will also get dirty as soon as it enters the pot. Similarly, the listener must suspend all doubts, biases, notions, beliefs and any form of conditioning while listening, so that the purity of speaker’s thoughts is retained in the listener’s mind. We often start doubting the speaker’s authority and knowledge or get busy in forming our own questions while listening. These are barriers to active listening and they must be dropped.
3. The pot must not be leaky. No water can stay in a pot which is leaking. Similarly, one must improve one’s memory to retain the thoughts in entirety. Often a lot is forgotten soon after the speaker stops or the reading ends. One may, therefore, take notes to prompt the memory for later recall.

At this stage, one may say “I got what you said. But, I have doubts on its validity.”

Therefore, whatever is listened to or read must be subjected to the following further two steps to bring about real learning and internal transformation:

Reflection: In this step, you bring forth all the doubts and raise queries. Reason out every answer and clarification. Seek expert’s opinion and guidance. At the end of all this, if it still doesn’t make sense, then it is not useful for you and it is best to be ignored. However, if it does make sense, then you may feel deep within a sense of unshaken conviction. You will be able to explain it to others as if it is your own making. You will become knowledgeable.

Yet, there may be little or no internal transformation even with this newfound knowledge. You may continue to act and behave like before. This is because the last step is yet to be covered.

Absorption: In this step, you allow this knowledge to seep in the subconscious mind. You meditate over it. Look for relevance in day-to-day living. It is like marinating the food with spices. This step may take its own time. Patience and perseverance are the keys. Over time, this knowledge will start reflecting spontaneously, without any effort, in your thoughts, actions and behaviours.

At this point, the knowledge has turned into your true ‘learning’.