Handwritten Memories

Today's technology has robbed us of those fine sentiments that used to accompany every written communication in the past. I can't remember when did I last write a letter in my own handwriting.

Those were the times when postman's arrival evoked much anticipation. Handwritten address on the envelope conveyed warmth. While opening it, you could visualize the face of the writer. If the letter happens to be from a heart-throb, almost certainly a whiff of sweet fragrance would fill your nostrils. Recognition of the sender from the handwriting would instantly change the priority of the hour. Every word of the letter would be lapped through the eyes paying due attention to its writing, placement, emphasis or even cancellation as an afterthought. Each of these observations could convey unwritten thoughts going through the writer's mind several hundred miles away. A word with smudged ink in the middle of a sentimental sentence won't fail to present the vision of uncontrollable sobs. A dried rose-leaf folded between the papers would bring forth the whole bouquet of sweetest emotions.

Is Silence the best virtue?

I am reminded of the following advice.
When you get the urge of speaking, ask yourself the following questions first:

• Is it sensible, based on truth and facts?
• Is it absolutely necessary to say?
• Is it beneficial to anybody around?

If the answer to all the above questions is 'yes', then watch the manner in which you say. It should be gentle and suggestive rather than rude and authoritative.

What it means to be alive?

Last month, while visiting Guggenheim Museum in New York, an inspiring piece of writing drew my attention at the entrance:

"Curiosity is an instinct, like Breathing. And, in our world, wonders never cease to fire our curiosity. The world challenges, mystifies and entertains. It is part playground, part laboratory, part untamed territory. It is an infinite source of inspiration. It is an invitation to discover. And the discovery resides at the very core of what it means to be alive. We embrace the world for all that it is, for all its beauty, genius and surprise. To us, the world is just awesome."

Credit Card or Debt Trap

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be", advised Shakespeare. I wonder how many of us practice this. Credit Cards can best be described as 'I owe you' notes. The moment you use it, you are a borrower.
Many of us live with the myth that credit card is an additional source of money. At least, that is what the attractive promos would make us believe. While in reality, it is only a convenient and 'tempting' way of spending our own earnings. I have been a credit card user myself since a long time and have successfully avoided falling into the 'Debt Trap' by practicing the following simple rules:

• No spending (whether through 'cash' or 'credit card') is outside the monthly expenditure plan.
• Credit card is only a 'convenient' and 'safe' alternative to Cash.
• Keep receipt of every transaction, whether carried out in person or through Internet.
• While checking out of a hotel, obtain & tear the slip of blocking money on credit card.
• Always make 'full' payment by the due date. But, only after cross-checking the bill with the receipts.
• While travelling, if you need to spend more than your credit limit, make suitable deposit in your credit card prior to travelling.
• Protect your credit card just as you would protect cash.

As credit card users, we can not avoid being borrowers. But, may we not remain 'borrowers' beyond the due dates. There are no free lunches in the world.

What worth is Money?

Money is 'gross' and hence it can be exchanged with only the gross objects of the world. Subtle objects, such as 'love' and 'knowledge', are beyond the reach of money. We may buy the most expensive painting of sunset, but can it give us the joy of seeing a real sunset? The flowing water of a river can teach us to be selfless in a way, even the most expensive book on philosophy cannot.

Is money worthless? Not at all. It is required - to fulfil physical needs. And, it should not be given any more exaggerated value. However, when we carefully share it with those who are struggling to make their both ends meet, we get in return the joy that cannot come from spending the same upon ourselves. This, when done without arrogance, make the money more than its worth.

Dreaming Careers for Children

Parents often hold the view that they know what their children should do when they grow.

In reality, they are only trying to realise their own unfulfilled dreams through their children. If we were objectives, we would realise that every child is like a seed with its own unique potentials which are manifested in form of fruits that come out of it when it grows. How many children are alike in the same family receiving the same environment for growth?

So, as parents, what can we do? All we can do is to spot the natural talent in our child early on and nurture carefully without exerting pressures. We should help our children to determine their basic natures and then nurture the same with patience and care.

One way of finding the basic nature for any one is to jot down whatever thoughts come in the mind first thing as one gets up. Repeat this exercise for a week without referring to the previous lists. After a week, compare all the lists and select those thoughts that were most repeated and prioritise them in the order of most repetitions. One would most likely be left with only two or three thoughts in the end. They will clearly indicate one's basic nature. This exercise can be repeated several times during the growing years of a child to confirm his/her basic nature.

Lastly, no work is 'great' or 'small'. You need all types of weather to make up a year. If a squirrel cannot carry forests on its back, neither a mountain can crack a nut.

Would the Buddha need a BMW?

In one of the articles of a local weekly magazine a few years ago, someone raised a question, "If Buddha were born today, would he need a BMW?" My response was as follows:

It is all about 'Standard of Life' versus 'Quality of Life'. While 'Standard of Life' depends upon others' approval, 'Quality of Life' entirely depends upon our own internal yardsticks. One may live a very high standard of life (flashy car, expensive clothes, decorative palatial homes, etc.), yet the quality of his / her life may be very low (full of stress, disease, unhappiness). Similarly, the quality of life could be very high, irrespective of the standard of life.

In the absence of clearly defined goals based on proper assessment of individual capacity & affordability, we tend to mimic others. When we see everyone competing to raise his / her standard of living, we also follow blindly. Modern techniques of marketing thrive on such a situation in society, where 'needs' are constantly created often beyond our 'means'.

Buddha indeed had much more than a BMW as a young prince, yet he found them unnecessary in meeting his life's goal. He was after the 'highest' quality of life. If we too wish to raise quality of life, we must pause and ponder: "What is my real goal? What do I need to realise it? Do I have the required means? Can I afford them? If not, what can I do to earn them? etc." The 'Standard of Life' would then become inconsequential and incidental.