The Child is the father of the Man

When William Wordsworth wrote the above quote, he must have meant that the seeds of an adult’s personality are sown in the childhood. Consequently, a great deal of responsibilities falls on parents’ shoulders to properly groom their child.

I am reminded of a story. A man was watching the wonderful emergence of a butterfly from the skin of a caterpillar. Seeing the butterfly’s struggle to break out of the tight skin, he decided to help. He tore open the skin making it easier for the butterfly to come out. However, on emergence, the butterfly fell on the ground fluttering its wings in vain. His kindness killed the creature that could have mesmerised the world with its beauty. Nature has its own design to prepare every creature for its survival in the world. The butterfly’s struggle was the process of strengthening the wings.

Similarly, every child must grow through a process of struggle at every stage. It struggles to breathe soon after the birth. It struggles to turn when curious of its surroundings. It struggles to walk when fired with the desire of reaching for tempting objects. The journey goes on until obsessive parents interrupt it with their excessively caring approach. Perhaps, the hyper parenting has more to do with parents’ needs to feel important than it does with their child’s needs. Besides, how long parents can be around to provide protection? It is necessary to protect a sapling from the attacks of harsh weather. It is also desirable to provide support when the plant is growing. But, the protective support must be gradually withdrawn as the plant grows in its size and strength. Nature knows how to protect. Let’s give enough breathing space and elbow room to our children so that they may spread their wings fully, while we are still around, and soar high in the sky later.

Driving reveals true Personality

A person carries two personalities — one that he really is and the other that he wishes to show in society. In face-to-face transactions, he behaves the way society demands in order to protect his reputation. However, in a car, he becomes faceless — as if wearing a mask. Then, inhibitions are dropped and the real nature manifests itself in driving. We can easily spot these varying human natures in form of cars on the road — impatient, short-tempered, ill-mannered and bullying cars in contrast to gentle, well-mannered and courteous cars.

I wonder how one would drive, if his/her picture is displayed on the outside.

Fame Mentality

There was a time when people used to buy what they needed, when they needed and what they could afford. But, now we wish to buy anything that catches our fancy. Flames of desires are fanned by the incessant onslaught of eye-catching ads. What appears as a mere sight in an ad one moment becomes ‘must-have’ the very next moment. We change things even before the end of their useful lives. Shopping is no longer buying what we need, but a form of entertainment for which no money is enough. If we look around in our homes, we would surely spot so many things that we never seriously needed. What has caused such a change in our mentality? Are we happier than before?

Most of us have now acquired ‘fame mentality.’ We see a celebrity sporting a dress or an accessory and we start seeing ourselves in them. We want to remain in fashion, which is changing faster than our earning capacities. We ‘somehow’ pay for all these and take prides in being part of ‘high society.’ We never realise that no model pay for what they sport. We also fail to see that anything worn by them would look attractive, thanks to their well-managed physiques. But, is the same thing true with our physical constructs? And, what about our happiness?

The secret of happiness lies in managing desires, not in pampering and purposelessly pursuing them. But for this, one has to have a meaningful purpose in life. Desires would then get a direction and transform into real needs. Then, life can be lived based on ‘needs’ for a purpose giving happiness in the process. Then, whatever you do would become ‘fashion’ for the rest. The bare footed famous painter - M. F. Hussain - is the modern day evidence of this fact.

Conscience Calling

There was a person who ran over a cat while driving. However, he stopped, carried the dead body to a nearby bush, covered it with some dead leaves and said a silent prayer for its soul. Treating even a cat’s death as no less than a human death was his way of responding to his conscience’s call.

Conscience is like a mariner’s compass — always pointing towards that which is ‘right’. We all carry this ‘conscience.’ Yet, while some of us hardly even recognise its presence, some ignore its calling and some rare ones respond. It appears that such differences have something to do with our 'selfishness'.

Some of us are so busy with our selfish gratifications that nothing else exists beyond our own interests. Conscience does not bother such people. Then, there are those who accept the presence of others, but attempt to fulfil their own interests even at the cost of other’s interests. Such people often ignore their conscience’s calls. Rare indeed are those who always put others’ interests first. Conscience appears to support every act of such individuals. They are always at peace with themselves.

Randy Pausch: The Last Lecture

Recently, a dear friend sent me the link to this video (http://blip.tv/file/470585).

Randy Pausch was the professor of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University. He pioneered research in linking Art with Computer Science. He introduced innovative courses and became the role model for entire teaching faculty in USA by imparting knowledge in the most entertaining ways. Pausch learned that he had pancreatic cancer, a terminal illness, in September of 2006. On September 18, 2007, Carnegie Mellon invited him to deliver this "Last Lecture". He died on July 25, 2008.

In this "Last Lecture", Pausch talks about how he fulfilled his childhood dreams, how he helped others fulfil their childhood dreams and what he learnt in life along the way. This video is deeply moving and enlightening.

While watching this video, I jotted down the following "Head Fakes" (Paush's indirect learnings):

1. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted.
2. Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things.
3. Wait long enough and people will surprise you and impress you.
4. Decide if you're Tigger (Happy) or Eeyore (Sad).
5. Never lose child-like wonder.
6. Help others.
7. Loyalty is a two-way street.
8. If you are a girl and if a boy is attracted towards you, then ignore what he says and only pay attention to what he does to know his genuinity.
9. Never give-up.
10. You can't get there alone. This is how you can get people to help you:
    · Believe in Karma (What goes round, comes around)
    · Tell the truth.
    · Be earnest.
    · Apologise when you screw up.
    · Focus on others, not yourself.
11. Get a feedback-loop; and listen to it.
12. Show gratitude, where it is due.
13. Don’t complain; just work harder.

Following are Pausch's Important Advices:

• Be good at something; it makes you valuable.
• Work hard...People would ask, "What is your secret?"
• Find the best in everybody; no matter how long you have to wait for them to show it.
• Be prepared: "Luck" is where preparation meets opportunity.

Old is Gold

Of course, there are some who simply age and don’t grow. They don’t learn from their lives and cannot offer anything back to the society. But, for the majority who enter old age, it is a graceful transition. What they say is not only tried and tested but also what they have already lived. They may often sound rude because they don’t care about getting recognition or anything else in return any more. They no longer pretend and play games. They speak their minds like children do. But, what they say is, in no way, ‘childish’. They have a lot to return to the society. It will be a grave mistake to let this pool of wisdom die un-utilised.

Will Durant says, “(Alas!) If youth had wisdom of the old and the old had energy of the youth, then the world would have been a heaven.” A car needs both the ‘accelerator’ and the ‘brake’ for its safe journey. Similarly, society needs both the ‘youth’ (providing energy) and the ‘old’ (providing wisdom) for its peace and progress. We can certainly bridge the generation gap if youth respects and seeks ‘wisdom’ from the old and the old believes in the ‘energy’ of the ‘youth’.

My humble advice to the children and adult is to not miss any opportunity of learning from the older generations whether at home or at work. What you learn from them is not theoretical; it is down-right applicable to your own lives. It is a bit like the relay race in which the older generation passes on the baton of experience to the younger generation in keeping the race for progress going.

What precedes Thoughts?

We all know that thoughts precede actions. But, what precedes thoughts? We don’t know and we will never know as our knowledge rests within the realm of thoughts.

In a recent experiment, it was scientifically established that one becomes aware of a thought about 30 seconds after it has occurred to him/her. It is clear from this experiment that we cannot create thoughts and, therefore, cannot control them. Whatever we say about the state preceding thoughts can only be a 'concept.'

However, we can surely analyse what happens after thoughts occur to us. As soon as a thought occurs, the mind reacts spontaneously based on its conditioning and may propel the body into action - again almost spontaneously - if required. As soon as a thought is thus dealt with, another strange thing happens. The mind starts dwelling on that thought or the result of the action just performed. It either rambles backward in the past associating with past experiences or projects it into the future building hopes, anticipation and anxiety. Indeed, it is this trait of the mind that causes unending mental worries. What was a pure ‘happening’ without any of its control now becomes its ‘doing’ with associated pride or guilt. Ego is thus nourished. We perpetually live in such chain reactions of our thoughts accepting the mental 'noise' as 'normal.'

However, one may quieten this mental noise by simply observing the mind and its various ramblings in a detached manner. The pace of any event appears slower under intense scrutiny of unbiased 'observation.' For example, when you watch a clock continuously, it appears to move much slower. When such a practice is done repeatedly, mind begins to understand its futility in rambling between past and future. It starts lowering its gear until it is 'parked.'

This is perhaps what Sage Patanjali meant when he said, “Guide your thought process to Silence.” In a still mind, one gets a clear glimpse of reality – as it is – bringing internal peace and everlasting bliss. The world (and life) then becomes a mere play only to be enjoyed in all circumstances.