Authentic Living

Reading about Kiran Bedi in the Wknd. (“Sharpshooter”, 21.05.2010) was a thrilling experience. I was reminded of my meeting her way back in 2001, when she visited Abu Dhabi to launch her critically acclaimed biography, “I dare”. While getting her autograph on a copy of this book, I asked who her idol was. She replied, “Mahatma Gandhi.” Notwithstanding her violence-dominated Police profession, she explained how she always looked for ‘goodness’ even in hard-core criminals and thus could maintain a non-violent attitude in her life. Her enthusiasm was infectious and I felt as if I was standing next to a power-house of infinite energy. No doubt, even now she works 24 x 7. I am inspired by her statement, “There is no place where I have to be – there are only places where I need to be and ought to be.” She is truly a shining example of ‘authentic living’. I wonder how many of us can also say, “My work is my holiday.”

Handling Work Stress

Mr. T Ram Kishore was surely not serious while suggesting to ‘stop with this enthusiasm business’ and carry on working under stress (“So who’s happy in his job?”, KT May 19, 2010). Enthusiasm may not pay bills, but it fills you with life. Stress is the worst silent killer of modern society. Almost all major diseases emanate from stress. But, we don’t have to give in; we can effectively deal with it.

When a piece of metal wire is bent, it comes under stress. There is now an internal pressure within the wire to return to its original shape. Similarly, whenever human mind deviates from its natural state, it becomes stressful. Stress, indeed, is an internal cry for returning to natural state. Our natural state is that of serenity, calmness and relaxation.

We are most relaxed and happy when we do what we love to do. Unfortunately, most of us don’t have this luxury. Our work is somehow forced upon us due to reasons such as: financial, family, legality, skill limitations or just going with the flow. Hence, the only way out is to love whatever we do and do it to the best of our abilities, as doing is the only thing under our control. We should also guard against developing an unconscious habit of complaining, as it prevents new opportunities from approaching us. Only a relaxed mind has the ability to scan far and wide for better opportunities. A relaxed mind is inherently in receptive mode, while a complaining mind is inherently in rejection mode.

We are entirely responsible for our own stress. Outside world will be what it is. It cannot change itself to the liking of each individual. People, places, weather and situations are what they are – not under our individual controls. Hence, the first step in handling stress is to have ‘realistic’ (if not ‘zero’) expectation from the world. Stress automatically starts building-up inside us when ‘we don’t do what we ought to do’ or ‘do what we ought not to do’ in a given situation. It starts like a spark and, if not immediately checked, it soon engulfs our entire psychosomatic personality. Therefore, it is vital to be acutely aware of its initial signs, such as: heat in the head, increased pulse-rate, losing control over speech, trembling, etc. When such signs are noticed, we should mentally withdraw from the scene immediately and fine-tune our expectations. Deep breathing, yoga, playing sports, reading favourite books, listening to favourite music and socializing with close friends are well known effective stress busters. Indulging in food and other addictions are the easiest diversions that provide temporary relief, but do much more harm in the long run and hence must be avoided.

There are situations when we feel ourselves against the wall with no way out. Again, it is because of our own narrow vision under the circumstances. Asking questions like, “what is the worst thing that can happen?” actually calms down the mind and allows us to focus on finding alternatives. It is important to have meaningful goals in life, but being obsessed with them is sowing seeds of stress. We must be natural in all our actions under all circumstances. We must also trust that nature will provide us whatever we need and whenever we need for our survival and growth. We should remain receptive to nature’s bounty and always follow our own conscience. Anything forced is not forceful – only stressful.

According to Chuang Tzu, “Easy is right. Begin right and you are easy. Continue easy and you are right. The right way to go easy is to forget the right way and forget that the going is easy.”

Whenever I am faced with a stressful situation, I often turn to this prayer:

“God, grant me the

Serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

Courage to change the things I can…and

Wisdom to know the difference.”