Understanding Body Language

Vikram Bohra’s piece, “The NRI Nod of Dissent” (Wknd. 20th Aug 2010) humorously presented nodding nuances of Indians. True, it is confusing when you see one shaking his head from left to right and the other from up to down, you are not sure who is saying ‘yes’ and who is saying ‘no’. However funny or frustrating this may appear, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to change such aspects of body language. If one spoken language can acquire multiple accents from different parts of the world, then what chance we have to standardize various body languages that are so deeply rooted in their respective cultures? And, why should we even try to standardize? Isn’t variety the spice of life? Wouldn’t it be better to understand different accents and body languages rather than try to change them?

When we understand a body language, we also gain insight of the related culture. Although we are all humans, each one of us communicates differently, as if each is from a different planet. Most, if not all, interpersonal conflicts are rooted in the misunderstanding of each other’s view points. Every language, however perfect and refined, has inherent limitations that may distort any communication. Hence, it is vital to first connect with the other person’s mind through unbiased compassionate attitude. When a harmony is thus established between two minds, any communication – even with flawed language – will succeed.

I am hurt

A dear friend of mine, Debasis Chatterjee, wrote the following letter to a group of friends (me included) expressing his hurt from the current change of priorities in people's lives. Please feel free to share your thoughts connected to this post.

People may blame us for 'generation gap' kind of talk. But, it is true that the prioities have changed over time.

Hindi cinemas and TV soap's have a lot to blame. And our shameful desire to copy from the West, be it dress or music or culture at large. (side note on this act of 'copy'ing. It is very selective, as we do not copy the good things from the West, such as their willingness to do hard work and general sincerity about work. In general, they do not have to be supervised.)

The priorities have changed for most people's lives. I suspect that we no more have genuine teachers instilling good values and foundation of Indian history (such as Netaji, Gandhiji, Vivekananda) in young students' minds. Quiz questions these days will have topics from Bollywood rather than Indian history or mythology. Silly. Republic Day or Independence Day programmes in the school premises were much awaited for by young students. I vividly recall our Geography teacher drawing India's map on a board in front of all of us and that would set the stage for the Headmaster to come, do flag hoisting and then give us a great speech.

People are in the rat race for material values. Many have to succumb to corruption, just to meet ever increasing demands of himself, wife and his children. Flat TV, laptop, expensive car, expensive dress and shoes - the list is endless.

People are selfish. How often do we hear of selfless acts? People are down to atomic families and cannot imagine having guests more than just a short visit. They always think of 'Atithi, kob jayoge?'. It was commonplace in Kolkata in earlier days to have most families to have long-term guests from ancestral village place, either studying in university or working in an office. That was so much accepted in joint family structures where people shared or rather cared to share.

Do we find dedicated teachers any more? My Maths teacher from 'Hindu School', who was reputed to be one of the best in the city in my time, did not even charge me for his services of private tuition for the period when Naxaite movements handicapped him from coming over to my place to provide tuition. He instead offered a few selected students to come to his Nebutala 'mess' (that is where he stayed as a bachelor). We would pay him visits from time to time, and get some quality time from Late Baren-babu free of charge.

Do not get me wrong. There are still good acts happening here and there, even now. But, it appears to be exception than 'order of the day'.

Any comments are welcome to this trail of thoughts.

Cancer of Corruption

The ongoing sad saga of corruption surrounding the coming Commonwealth Games in India is a matter of deep anguish for all sports lovers. It is appalling to see dirty secrets tumbling out of the closets every day. Worst of all, no one seems to be taking the responsibility. In fact, the oft repeated blame game has started, while the start date for the real games is fast approaching like a bullet train. I have often wondered why there is no corruption in the animal kingdom or any other creations of the nature. Why only human kingdom carries the cancer of corruption?

Perhaps, the answer lies in the fact that we humans are unique species. We are endowed with the power of thinking and choosing, which no other creations of nature possess. But, this power is like a double edged sword. We can make or mar our lives with this power. When our focus is upon getting something without working for it and without making the necessary sacrifices, we are tempted to use this power in finding and using short-cuts. However, history is testimony to the fact that no one ever enjoyed the fruits of corrupt practices. Every corrupt person had to ultimately pay the price of his deeds. And yet, no one seems to be learning this lesson. So long as there is a selfish desire in anyone, there is a potential for corruption. That is why we must inculcate higher principles and values, which will protect us from falling when temptations run high.

I sincerely hope that people with focus on selfless service for the nation would come forward to take control of the coming Commonwealth games in India and make us proud of our nation before it is too late.

Pen is mightier than Sword

The article “Clever games media plays” (KT August 5, 2010) was thought-provoking. True, the media is no longer the voice of voiceless. It now plays God, “creating” and “making” news where none exists. In many cases, it has become mere mouthpiece of powerful politicians and rich industrial houses. The line between “real” and “paid” news is blurring. What was once a sacred profession, run by passionate people burning with the desire of presenting the society in its true image, is fast losing its sanctity. Are we readers condemned to suffer? Similar views were also expressed in the recently held Ramnath Goenka Memorial debate (sponsored by The Express Group and NDTV) ending with a consensus on taking serious steps to correct this situation.

I believe that “ethics” are at the core of every profession and business. I also believe that there should be no difference between “personal” and “professional” ethics. Whatever ethics one follows in personal life, gets reflected in one’s professional life as well. So, the correction must start at the personal level. I implore every media person to conduct the following self-enquiries before reporting any news:

• Will I proudly face my mother after reporting this news?

• Will I be able to proudly declare later to my children what I am about to report?

• Will I be able to sleep peacefully tonight after reporting this news?

There is no harm in media running its profession as a “business”. After all, money is required to run a media establishment. However, greed should not have any place in this business. A great responsibility lies on the shoulders of every media establishment. What they do may have far reaching effects on the society. Do give some space for the politicians and the industrialists to say what they wish to say. But, please don’t present their ‘views’ as ‘news’. Do show the ugly side of society, where serious corrections are needed. But, also find and reveal the finer aspects, in greater proportions, that will inspire the readers and make their days beautiful. Indeed, pen is mightier than sword. Please use it with great care.