Self-fulfilling Prophecies

It was nice reading a cute list of nice things that can happen to us, but don’t (“As good as it gets” Weekend, 22.10.2010). Grief is a wasted energy, but we often indulge in it. While blaming others for our miseries, we forget that everything in this world is controlled by the law of causation. We are in our current state of health, mind and circumstances due to our own past actions and decisions that we took or didn’t. Similarly, our present decisions and actions will determine what sort of future we shall inherit.

I believe that we are all victims of self-fulfilling prophecies. All the while, we are talking to ourselves in our minds. This rambling of thoughts, whether intentional or not, act as auto-suggestions to our sub-conscious mind. Our sub-conscious mind is like a giant computer which processes every suggestion it receives and translates into reality with the help of nature’s infinite power, without bothering whether the suggestion is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

Thus, a hopeful person sees opportunities all around him and reaps success, while a pessimist keeps missing them and meets with failures. So let’s first watch what we say in our minds and then watch what we do in the world. Henry Ford has rightly said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

Why Read Fiction?

Iman Kurdi has raised an important topic with reference to the French writer Charles Dantzig’s book entitled: “Why Read?” (“Why do we love and need to read fiction? Here is why!”, KT, 12th Oct 2010). People often carry guilt of having wasted valuable time on reading fictional stories. Many consider reading a book of fiction as escaping from real life. If the work of fiction is cheap and intended to arouse only base feelings, then I agree with such observations. However, classic works of fiction are entirely different ball-game.

Life is nothing but a stream of experiences. Birth, death and everything in between, whether success or failure, are just experiences. Each experience shapes our personality, thoughts, habits, character and destiny. A life is rich and fulfilling if it is filled with a variety of valuable experiences. However, it is not possible for anyone to gather the entire gamut of experiences from different walks and eras in one life-time. A work of fiction fills this gap.

But for Shakespeare’s works of fiction, I wouldn’t have been able to experience the Victorian era and intense human emotions. But for authors like Robert Ludlum, Fredrick Forsyth, Alistair MacLean, Jack Higgins, Ken Follett and Ian Fleming, I wouldn’t have got the thrilling and chilling experiences of cold-war espionage. But for the engrossing works of Arthur Hailey, I would have remained ignorant of the intricate worlds of Aviation, Healthcare and Hotels. But for authors like Premchand and Sarat Chandra, I wouldn’t have experienced the value-based rustic rural life of Indian villages. Authors of fictional work create stories out of their own life experiences, beliefs and acute observations of the world around them. Thus, they are able to transport their readers into different make-believe worlds where readers can enjoy the experience of living those worlds. We unconsciously pick-up our role models from these stories and start emulating their character and ideals in our own specific walks of life. Ayn Rand’s book entitled, “Atlus Shrugged” continues to have a major impact on American society fifty years after its publication. Based on the principles of morality in public and corporate dealings, this work of fiction is being referred to by Americans as prescription to cure the current economic crises. It was rightly said by someone, “There is nothing true in History except name and date, while there is nothing false in a fiction except name and date.”

Comprehensive Website on Bapu

We seem to have forgotten Bapu’s Birthday on 2nd Oct. No TV channel showed any special program on him or his work. No newspaper brought out any special supplement. No new stamp was issued in his honour. No new bridge or road was named after him. No friend sent any sms to celebrate his birthday.

Then I came across this great website on Bapu, which was forwarded to me by a non-Indian. Bapu, we Indians may have forgotten you, but the world has not and will not. Long live your name and teachings.

Click on the link below :

http://www.mkgandhi-sarvodaya.org/

Looking for an ideal Life-partner

It was heartening to read a young man’s views on marriage (“Arranging love marriages: A fine balance”, by Aditya Mahajan, KT, 22nd Sep 2010). Love at first sight happens in stories and movies. In life, we are often attracted towards certain individuals. This attraction may become so strong for a certain individual that we may confuse it with ‘love at first sight’. In reality, more often than not, it is still an attraction based on certain strong sensory input, which often clouds judgment. No wonder, such love is ‘blind’ and the person is said to have ‘fallen’ in love. However, life cannot be lived with such blind love. It is important to establish that the attraction leading to certain ‘special’ feeling is beyond physical attributes and base interests. Subtler the source of this attraction, longer it will last. Marriage is not merely a union of two individuals; it is a fusion of many more things such as aspirations, values, life-styles, likes & dislikes, families and even cultures. Such fusion is not possible if both partners are rigid. Flexibility is the cornerstone of this fusion.

Looking for an ideal life-partner is similar to looking for utopia on earth. Since no one can claim to be perfect, how can one even attempt to find an ideal life-partner? The best one can achieve is a good match. For this, however, you have to start with yourself. An accurate assessment of your own strengths and weaknesses would help in establishing realistic criteria for your life-partner. While listing the criteria, you must include all aspects of the desired match, including family and society that you wish to live with. These criteria must be prioritized in order to give due weightage to the important ones. Finally, when you come across a matching partner, listen to your heart more than the mind. Mind has the tendency to trap you in the state of ‘analysis-paralysis’. It will always throw doubts on whatever you decide, while heart will always show you the right path.

A man marries a woman, not a wife. He must make a wife out of this woman through patience and understanding. Similarly, the woman must make a husband out of the man after marriage. The path of marriage is that of team building – starting with excitement, turning into a storm, leading to normalization and finally understanding. Love is what one discovers in this journey. As the understanding deepens, so does the love. How else would you describe the deep bonding between two aged people who have lost their physical attributes to attract each other? They are ready to give everything for each other without any trace of expectation. Love is not blind for them. It becomes the light in which they see everything clearly. They don’t fall in love. They rise to the pinnacle of love.