Happiness is now or never

If life is in the present moment, where else could happiness be found but in the present? It is as simple as this. However, most of us keep searching for happiness all our lives. We read books, attend courses, join laughing clubs, take vacations to exotic places, indulge in delicious food, seek variety of entertainment, amass wealth, or take refuge in a sanctum. However, all we get are the fleeting moments of so-called happiness. Unbroken happiness remains a mirage.

The definition of happiness is varied as expressed by different people. Indeed, everyone holds his/her own definition of happiness. The common denominator of these definitions, however, is an external source of happiness. We believe that we will be happy when we get a certain object, being, environment, position, or recognition. However, those who have achieved all of these, sadly realise that their search for happiness is not over. There seems to be a fundamental flaw in defining happiness. Our so-called happiness is subject to various conditions, often external and beyond our control.

We must realise that happiness is a state of mind when there are no thoughts. We experience temporary happiness upon getting our desired object because at that moment, having satiated the desire, our mind becomes devoid of thoughts. But, soon thereafter, a thought of another desired object fills the void and the happiness is again lost.

If happiness resided in the previously desired object, it should have continued as that object is still with you. Thus we continue to ride the roller-coaster of fleeting happiness throughout our lives. Such happiness is directly proportional to the number of desires fulfilled and inversely proportional to the number of desires entertained, but not fulfilled.

Life exists only in the present moment. It is dead in the moment that has passed and is yet to be born in the future moment. The past moment will never return and the future moment will always appear as present moment. Hence, a real experience can only be in the present moment. But, to experience the present moment, one has to be aware of the present moment and be fully available for the experience. This is where we miserably fail.

We allow our minds to brood over past moments or be filled with future speculations and anxieties. As a result, although we are physically present in a given moment, our mind, being preoccupied with a variety of thoughts, is not ‘in’ that moment. How many times have we walked through a place without registering anything on the way? How many times have we attended a meeting or a seminar without actually listening to speakers? We mechanically pass through each moment. Life, therefore, is hardly lived, except in those rare moments when, by accident or coincidence, our mind is brought to the present moment. So, how can we consciously experience happiness in the present moment?

Every moment passes so swiftly that a mind concentrating on the moment cannot entertain any thought and hence experiences happiness. Thus, a mind which remains focused on every passing moment, enjoys unbroken happiness. But we are victims of our own old habits. We are so used to thinking about the past and the future that absence of a thought is unbearable. No doubt, it is a challenge to break this habit. But with persistent practice, it is achievable.

We may start by being watchful in simple tasks, such as sitting, walking, eating etc. In the beginning, we may not be able to keep our attention on the present task for long. The mind is sure to drift. But, whenever it returns to the present moment, thank yourself for making a dent in the old habit and resume unbiased observation. While walking, be aware of your body movements and the surroundings. While eating, enjoy the sight of different dishes, feel the heat, take in the aroma and slowly taste every bite. Even while doing nothing, simply be aware of incoming and outgoing breaths. Let this practice naturally grow without any guilt of missing the continuity. As it grows on you, happiness will ooze out of you. This is famously called ‘spontaneous living’.

This does not mean that we should not review our past actions for learning and should not plan for achieving a goal in the future. Indeed, even these activities can truly happen only in the present moment. While reviewing the past, pay full attention on analysing the events objectively, without letting the mind drift on the experiences associated with them. Similarly, while planning for the future, take stock of all the known things at that moment with full realisation that everything is subject to change and there is no need to be obsessed with what you have planned. There are many roads to a destination.

In conclusion, the present moment is the only door through which all possibilities and opportunities enter. We just have to be there. Someone has rightly said, “The best way to find happiness is not to search for it.”