Relax at the point of contact

“The time to relax is when you don't have time for it” says Sydney Harris. ‘Ju’ in Japanese Judo means gentle. A Judo practitioner is advised to completely relax his body and mind at the point of contact with the opponent and use opponent’s force to topple him. Resistance causes energy loss. You are less efficient in facing your opponent with depleted energy. Resistance also causes stress. You are more likely to lose the fight. However, learning to relax in such a situation is not easy. But once you have mastered the art of relaxing, you start enjoying the fight and least likely to lose. In other competitive sports too, the first thing a player learns is the technique of falling safely. Again, the essence is to offer no resistance while falling.

In life also, we are constantly faced with problems and issues appearing as opponents / enemies. Our normal reaction is to deny what has appeared by asking ‘why me’ or ‘why now’? We start resisting the problem. We don’t realise that such questioning or resisting will not make that problem disappear. In fact, by asking such questions, we provide more power to the problem. This denial causes stress, anxiety, depression, anger, or fear. We become more vulnerable. We are not at our best in such a situation.

We can use the technique of relaxation to face any challenge in life most effectively. Everything in the nature happens easily and gently. Flowers bloom gently, seasons change slowly, and a child grows in no hurry. ‘To be at ease’ is our original nature. When we deviate from this ‘ease’, we become ‘diseased’. We are at our best when we are at ease. When mind is at ease and body is relaxed, we can see many more options to deal with the challenge at hand. We develop clarity to choose the best response required in that situation. Indeed, only the best response spontaneously comes out of this state of being.

Any stress is first registered in the mind. If it is allowed to stay even for a short while, it will start impacting the body making it weaker. We can use the first sign of any mental stress or anxiety or even a slight irritation as the leading indicator of oncoming challenge. We need to be alert at all times to notice this. This alertness will also help in reminding us to immediately accept what has appeared before us without unnecessary questioning.

As soon as we notice any irritation, we need to stop doing whatever we are doing at that moment, including any form of thinking. This pause will keep us in the present moment and stop from reacting impulsively. This pause will also open door for seeing available options for proper response. During this pause, we should switch to deep breathing with full attention on the breath. This will further calm the mind and provide clarity to select the best option for responding to the challenge at hand.

Many minor issues would simply drop in such a state of alert relaxation, while proper response would effortlessly emerge for the other major issues.  So many things that regularly cause frequent irritations to us would start disappearing from our life. With constant practice over time, we will start enjoying every challenge coming our way, just as a sportsman enjoys every move made by his opponent. Life will become a game where every challenge provides opportunity to grow and enjoy.