Understanding Stress

 What is stress?

A state of unease. When you are not in your natural state - the state of perfect ease.

What causes stress?

First, let's understand where the stress is experienced. It's clearly experienced in the mind, not in the body though the body may show some symptoms of stress. Mind is the domain of only 'thoughts'. So, a thought must be the cause of stress. 

What type of thoughts causes stress?

A thought of rejecting what is in the present moment. When we don't accept whatever is presented to us in the present moment, we automatically entertain a thought of what should have been presented to us in that moment. We call this thought an expectation which is different from the reality of the moment. This thought (expectation) takes us away from our natural state of ease and we experience stress.

How can we de-stress?

We can de-stress by countering the thought of expectation with other thoughts challenging its validity. Did I have control over everything that were required to meet my expected result? Can I change the present result by rejecting it? Obviously, the answer to both these questions is NO. This mental process will prepare the mind to accept the 'reality' of the moment. With such acceptance, mind will return to its natural state of ease. Stress will disappear.

Can we live without any stress?

Indeed, we live better without any stress. Our performance improves when we do anything while being in the natural state, as we are able to commit 100% attention to the job at hand. We can apply ourselves better in shaping the future course of events to meet our goals.

The Chariot Analogy

In the ancient Indian scripture “Kathopanisad”, a young boy named Nachiketa asks the lord of death Yama – What am I? Yama gives the Chariot analogy as follows:

The chariot (horse-drawn carriage) is made-up of the body of the chariot, horses, reins to control horses, charioteer (driver) holding the reins and the passenger seating in the chariot.

Your body is the chariot. Five senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching) are five horses. Sense objects (objects providing sights, sound, smell, taste, and touch) are the roads on which respective senses run. Mind (thoughts and emotions) is the reins. Intellect (understanding/deciding) is the Charioteer. You are the passenger.

The purpose of the chariot is to take the passenger to his/her destination. The journey will be safe and successful only if:

•     The body of the chariot is strong and well maintained
•      Horses are well trained to follow driver’s command through reins
•      Reins are strong and firm (not loose)
•      Charioteer is well informed about the destination and well-focused

Similarly, if you wish to achieve your goals in life, you must:

•       Keep your body healthy and strong
•       Train your senses to be under mind’s control and not run away on their own
•        Develop a firm mind dedicated to the chosen goal
•        Educate the Intellect about your goal and develop its ability to clearly differentiate  between ‘what’s in line with the goal’ and ‘what’s not in line with the goal’

Choose your goal wisely. Your ultimate goal is to realise your own Self.

Give to Get

Have you ever wondered why a red apple looks red?

Let’s investigate into the science behind this phenomenon.

When white light falls on the apple, it absorbs all other 6 colours of the spectrum (VIBGYOR), except ‘red’ which is reflected to our eyes, thus giving it ‘red’ colour. When an object absorbs all the 7 colours of the spectrum, then it looks ‘black’. Similarly, when an object reflects the entire spectrum of colours, absorbing none, it appears ‘white’. In conclusion, an object appears to have the colour that was ‘given’ away. No wonder, white is a symbol of purity and goodness, while black often symbolizes dark / impure.

Same phenomenon plays in the nature and in life. No tree can hold on to its fruit after it has ripened. Trees give their fruits to get new fruits and remain alive radiating freshness. Rivers give their water to receive fresh water from rain and thus keep flowing. Wherever there is light, a lamp is silently burning away to illumine its surrounding. Wherever there is progress and growth, someone is working relentlessly to make it happen. ‘Giving’ is at the heart of our sustenance and growth. Those who never give, suffer and live a meaningless life. When we give, we gain priceless joy that cannot come from any act of acquiring. What goes round, comes around. Human history is filled with examples of people who rose to the height of human perfection through noble acts of ‘giving’ and left a rich legacy. And yet, they attributed their own success to their predecessors. Sir Isaac Newton has famously said, “If I have been able to see farther than others, it was because I stood on the shoulders of giants.” If we can talk about IR4.0 today, it is because countless people have contributed towards its predecessors IR1.0; IR2.0; and IR3.0. Our future generations will also derive benefits from what we leave behind today. 

Strategic Planning

From individuals to corporates, and even to nations, everyone must undertake strategic planning for the future. These plans would determine our future destiny. Sometimes we plan to change our status quo and at other times circumstances force us to plan. Either way, we ought to employ a strategy that would ensure attainment of desired objectives.

Sometime back, I learnt a very effective strategy of planning for the future from an interview with a top strategist of a nation. He described his strategy through following steps:

1.     Plan when mind is calm

Never rush to plan when you are filled with anger, anxiety, or fear. In such a state of mind, your focus will be on handling the immediate source of anger, anxiety, or fear – not on your true objectives with lasting benefits. Wait until the mind settles down and is calm enough to think clearly.

2.     Define objective clearly

Reflect on what you truly want in the future. Let there be no ambiguity about it. You should be fully convinced of what you want, not acting on some passing desire or hearsay. You see your future dependent on what you want. Write down this objective using noun and verb, such as “I want to have an athletic physique”, or “I want my company to appear in the list of Fortune 500”, “I want to retire in peace and good health.”

3.     Identify options

Develop alternative options to realize your objective. At this stage, consider all options that you can think about. Taking advice from a trusted friend or colleague or family member could greatly help in developing different options.

4.     Choose most favourable option

Review every option carefully based on your current resources and constraints, while also evaluating your ability to increase these resources and to remove the current constraints. The option that takes you to your objective with optimum resources and minimal risks could perhaps be favoured.

5.     Prepare for the worst

Even though you have clearly defined your objective and chosen the most favourable option to attain your objective, there is no guarantee that you may attain it. Consequently, you must prepare yourself for the worst. Visualise the worst that can happen despite all your efforts and planning. Now, ask yourself “Am I prepared to accept this outcome? If not, what do I need to do to improve this outcome?” Having figured out what would make the worst outcome acceptable, do those things before starting, such as arranging additional fund, taking expert advice, changing location, acquiring new skills, etc. Once you have brought the worst possible outcome within your acceptable limits, your mind will be at ease while implementing the plan.

6.     Don’t quit, make it work

When you start implementing your chosen option to attain your defined objective, surprises may come your way. Obstacles may arise. Don’t quit in the face of any challenge. Find ways to address them. Adjust your option to adapt new approach. Our intuitions can often direct us to what is the right course of action for us. Use your intuition at every stage from defining the objective to executing the plan. Work to make the plan succeed in all circumstances.

Re-calibrating the Mind

 Whenever we procure an instrument, we calibrate it against a recognised standard before using it. If we do not do this, then the measurements made by this instrument may not be accurate and reliable. Decisions based on such measurements could lead to losses – even catastrophe.

Further, we have to recalibrate every instrument at regular intervals, as the instrument goes through repeated usage and gets exposed to many environmental factors that would have disturbed its initial calibration against the standard. A well calibrated instrument serves our needs for a long time and helps in creating defect-free end-products.

Mind is the most valuable instrument every human has. We use our mind to do everything from birth to death, including dreams. Every decision is based on what mind measures. However, we hardly pay any attention to its proper calibration. We often leave it to the nature. Human mind starts getting auto calibrated from the birth through the family, education, work, society, and media without much conscious effort at any level to verify if the calibration is against a reliable and beneficial standard. Consequently, human life is often filled with pain and misery. We complain and cry, but rarely consider recalibrating our minds against something positive and eternally true.

The COVID-19 pandemic has brutally taught us the importance of recalibrating our minds against some positive standards of living. We can extend this lesson to all aspects of our life. We should focus on the need for the right calibration of minds from a child’s age. Children should be taught how to recalibrate their minds as they grow and remain rooted in the reality. 

A recent popular documentary “The Social Dilemma” has revealed catastrophic effects of wrong calibrations most young, and even old minds, are subjected to on a daily basis. Mind being the only instrument at our disposal for living our lives, we better pay more attention to its calibration and recalibration at regular intervals against recognised positive norms/standards of living. 

At GDA, we spend 5 minutes at the start of our daily team’s virtual meeting to discuss “Positive Moment”, that may include sharing a positive experience, an inspiring story or quotation. This has been our way of recalibrating our minds since the start of the current pandemic. The results are so satisfying that we shall continue with this practice even after the pandemic ends. We hope that the humanity at large will also learn to recalibrate their minds for healthy and joyous living.

Working with Passion, not Expectations

It is often said that we are the architect of our own future. Why then are we unable to create a happy and prosperous future for ourselves? The answer lies in how we do what we do.

Every creation starts at the thought level. Thought translates into speech – whether mental or vocal. Persistent speech propels us into actions. When we create a thought of doing something, we often simultaneously plant the expectation of success with it. This spontaneously gives rise to the question, “What if I am not successful?” Thus, a thought of failure is also created. Now, this thought of possible failure will colour our mental and vocal speech. When we get down to doing what is required to be done, subconsciously, we will start working towards the possible failure as well. Also, the very act of such doing will be tiring and demotivating. There is not a great chance of successful outcome from such an act either.

On the other hand, one may check how passionate one is with the thought of doing anything first. A selfish thought can hardly accommodate passion, whereas an unselfish thought expands in passion with the extent of unselfishness. Passion finds fulfilment in doing something to the best of one’s ability. Passion does not look for any result thereafter. A passionate painter finds complete fulfilment in the act of painting itself, irrespective of whether the painting will turn out to be a classic or not. Such a passionate thought will not allow any room for expectation and hence the possibility of failure. A passion-filled thought will generate passionate speech and thereby drive a passionate act. One would enjoy doing such a passionate act and would find complete fulfilment in the act itself. The chances of successful outcome from such an act are beyond any doubt, although there is no expectation for it at all.

The key, therefore, is to entertain only those thoughts that would benefit the greater humanity, and then let the unbound passion do the rest.

Living in Freedom

I am like an image on a screen looking at other images on the same screen. I have a choice - either to identify with my constantly changing image or with the unchanging screen lending existence and life to the image.

When I identify with my image, it becomes alive and so do all other images on the screen.

Now, I am subjected to all sorts of experiences born out of my interactions with other images. I get angry with one image, happy with another, jealous of yet another, depressed with criticism, swelled with praise, and so on.

However, when I identify with the screen, then I am instantly free of all such experiences. I can now see the same screen behind every image - whether of beings or things. Any interaction with any image is essentially now interacting with my own Self in form of the screen. 

I can now choose to play a variety of roles through my image on the screen, doing what is ought to be done by that image in any situation. The moment I sense a danger of getting trapped by any reaction from other images in the drama called "Life", I safely retreat in my identity of the screen - never forgetting that I, as the screen, support all other images.

How can I now get affected by my own Self in any way? This, I believe, is 'living in freedom'.