"Easy is right. Begin right and you are easy. Continue easy and you are right. The right way to go easy is to forget the right way and forget that the going is easy." -------------------Chuang Tzu
Monday 31 August 2009
Outliers aren't Self-made
An Ego Trip
He enjoyed the cool breeze and the speed of the flight and pitied the other stones on the ground. The stone hit the palace window and fell inside on an expensive carpet. The shattering noise of the glass declared his arrival on the big scene. Soft landing on the thick carpet reassured his great success and the grand welcome after a long string of achievements.
He rested there for some days watching many royal events. He was thrilled to be part of it.
One morning, a palace worker found the stone on the carpet and threw it out. As the stone left the palace, he bid farewell to the job well done. He said to himself it was time to retire.
Eventually, the stone returned to the pile outside the palace. He shared his success story with the rest. Other stones advised him to write his autobiography, which would be a great source of inspiration for the future generations. The stone is currently busy writing it.
Crime and Nationality
Sunday 30 August 2009
Preserving Roots
There is no denying that our roots must be respected. But that is an internal matter. One may find a variety of ways to nurture them even in a foreign soil without conflicting with local customs. However, the customs of the foreign soil must also be equally respected when dealing with various entities in our day-to-day lives. Indeed, when one is firmly rooted in one’s own culture, the beauty of other culture can be truly appreciated. Mutual appreciation of each other’s cultures enriches both the cultures.
True spirit of Fasting
In ancient times, when great seers used to meditate upon divine thoughts they often used to forget their physical demands, including hunger. For days together they would be engrossed in their meditation, oblivious of all surroundings. For the external world, they were fasting, but deep inside they were drinking the divine nectar. Fasting was a natural state of the body when soul was engaged in divine contemplation.
So, while fasting if mind races towards food then we are far away from the true spirit of fasting. True fasting is not simply going hungry, which may at best cleanse the body. True fasting is a great way of cleansing soul. Thoughts play most important role during fasting. We are where our thoughts are.
Friday 28 August 2009
I don’t have time
Nature has been absolutely fair in distributing time. Everyone has 24 hours in a day. No more and no less. It is up to us what we do with these 24 hours in a day. Heads of states and large organizations don’t have even a second more than what we common people have in a day. How is it that they are able to accomplish so much in the same time?
I believe the answer lies in their ability to distinguish between ‘important’ and ‘urgent’ tasks. Both are not same. An important task may not be urgent and an urgent task may not be important.
Important tasks are those that would bring long-term and lasting benefits. They are necessary to sustain the life and living. They are also critical in providing inner growth / maturity. Examples could be daily exercise, meditation, learning new skills, developing career goals, bonding with family and friends, working for the greater cause benefitting society, etc.
Urgent tasks, on the other hand, are those that must be done now. They are controlled by externally set narrow deadlines. They may even threaten your very survival. They are often associated with anxiety and stress. Examples could be: fixing a failed equipment or system on which the entire organization is dependent, responding to your superior’s call, responding to nature’s call, submitting a paper or report against a fast approaching deadline, renewing important documents or permissions that are about to expire, etc.
In this context, Stephen Covey’s famous Time Management Quadrant is worth looking at:
If we allow ourselves to be constantly driven by the urgent tasks in life, it may become our habit and ultimately an addiction, whereby unless a task becomes urgent we don’t act.
No one ever got ahead in life, or became successful, by just doing the urgent things. The people who get ahead in life, the people who realize their goals, and achieve the things they want in their life, all have one thing in common. They do what is important. They do what is important even though it means putting off at least some of the things that are urgent, or seem urgent.
I often use the following set of questions to sort out my priority of tasks:
- Would ‘not doing this task’ threaten my survival so that it must be done now?
- Is this task facing a tight deadline (fixed by my superiors or clients) so that I must give it a high priority over other important tasks?
- Is this task important for my future career / growth? Can I squeeze it in between other urgent tasks or schedule it at a definite time of the day? I understand that even incremental progress on an important task regularly would make me move forward and feel better.
- Is this task part of my daily healthy routine and doing which I shall feel refreshed and more energetic?
- Would this task result in no lasting benefits for me or others and hence can be dropped?
- Is this task in accordance with my conscience which, like a compass, always points to that which is right for me?
What is your way of prioritizing? Please share your secrets of managing your time.
Tuesday 25 August 2009
Maintaining Techno-sanity
If you think that the medical science is enjoying the pinnacle of its success today, then hear what a medical expert says about its future: "One hundred years from now, people will look back at today's medical science just as we are looking back at snake-oil treatments of the past."
Such relentless growth in technology is hardly surprising when you consider the scientific fact that most humans use less than five per cent of their total neurons in their brains during their entire lives. If, with such little use of the brain, we can create so much technology, then there is a long way to go as we learn to use more of our brain-cells.
Should we be scared of such technological growth? I believe NO. I also believe that the future of technology is in simplifying life, not further complicating it. Soon our car will be able to take a verbal command and drive us to our destination via the least congested route in the safest possible manner. By and large, technology will make available a lot of free time. But what do we do with this free time? This, in my opinion, is the million-dollar question.
So the problem is not in technology itself, but our lack of purpose in life. When we do not know what we want in life, then we are bound to get lost and overwhelmed by the multitude of available options. Technology is a means, not an end. One is not obliged to use all the available technologies. The world is beautiful with people of different abilities. Everyone does not have to be tech-savvy. There is no shame in not knowing how to operate the latest gizmos if it is not required to achieve your goal in life. Just as necessity is the mother of invention, let necessity be the mother of utility. This, in my humble opinion, is the only way to maintain techno-sanity.
Made for each other
I am reminded of an Indian movie of yesteryears called Aavishkar (Discovery). In this movie, the female protagonist asks her male counterpart, “Why are we not able to even sit together after marriage, while we used to long for seeing each other before marriage?” To this the male protagonist replies, “Before marriage, we used to do everything to impress each other. In the process, we would enhance our strong points and hide the weak ones. These meetings were short and sweet. So it was possible to hide our inherent shortcomings. These meetings hiked our expectations unreasonably. But, after marriage, it is no longer possible to hide anything. Pre-marital expectations are shattered. What we thought as love was no more than physical affinity associated with unreasonable expectations.”
I used to wonder why marriage is called an “institution”. Twenty eight years of my own marriage has taught me that in true marriage learning never stops. Every joy and every fight must lead to some learning and internal growth. It is said that the secret of a successful marriage is to have no expectations. Partners must understand and appreciate each other’s differences. They should complement their strengths and together rise above mere physical needs. You should try to be what you are. But, equally important is to accept the other as he/she is. The seed of true love grows in the soil of mutual acceptance.
Creating Energy at 93
Creativity, according to him, cannot be planned. It is spontaneous like a spark. We all experience such moments in our lives. But, very few are alert enough to capture these moments. MF Husain is one of those rare beings who has achieved this.
Strangely, the source of Husain’s immense energy is his work itself. Instead of spending energy, he creates energy while painting. He explains the secret: when you enjoy what you do, you don’t tire. Indeed, you become a mere witness to your own doings. You emerge from it more relaxed, ever fresh and a better human being. The secret of his longevity is also very simple. He always eats less than what he wants to. He is open to all possibilities in life, much like a child who is ever ready to experiment with whatever crosses his path and is filled with wonderment at the simplest of sights. We can learn a lot from such an exemplary life and turn our simple day-to-day activities into works of art.
Monday 24 August 2009
Redefining Love
Free as a Bird
While an overtly strict environment may generate extraordinary growth in one dimension, the growth of other aspects remains stunted. Such a person cannot stand the trials and tribulations of the external world. The suppressed desires, when given opportunities, burst out and may even ruin the person.
Whoever coined the expression ‘free as a bird’‚ must have realised the true value of freedom. History is testimony to so many civil wars fought by common men seeking ‘freedom’. Freedom is our original nature. Just as no seed can blossom into a tree without freedom, a person cannot realise his/her full potential without a free environment.
Sunday 23 August 2009
Making Peace with Problems
In sport, we look forward to a tough fight. Tougher is the opponent, greater is the joy of playing. Why then the same is not true with respect to everyday events in the life? There must be something seriously wrong in the way we perceive the problems.
We seem to be living at two levels. One is the level of ‘existence’, where everything always happens in the present. At this level, we react to a situation spontaneously according to our capability and maturity. The other level is that of the ‘mind’, which is never present in the present. It is either journeying in the past gathering pride & guilt, or looking into future building anxiety & fear. At this level, competitions and comparisons are the orders of the day. Also, at this level, we don’t accept what is offered in the present. We want something ‘else’. It is our deep identification with this ‘mental living’ that gives rise to all the ‘problems’.
The key to making peace with problems is to first ‘accept’ whatever is currently offered in the life. Then, look for means of resolving a particular issue at hand with all sincerity. Having done whatever was required and possible under the circumstances, relax and be prepared to accept any outcome. It is strange but true. Events have a way of sorting themselves out. There are no ‘problems’ out in the world, there are only ‘opportunities’. We, however, perceive them as problems. Finally, I am inspired by the following prayer:
“God grant me the
Serenity to accept
the things I cannot change…
Courage to change
the things I can...
and Wisdom to
know the difference.”
Simple is sufficient
My secondary school headmaster was a man of letters. And yet, his English was always simple. He used to say, “Keep your sentences short. Use simple vocabulary. Concentrate on the thought that you want to convey.” I find his teaching being echoed in the phrase commonly used nowadays, KISS (Keep It Simple and Straight).
Trust is the basis
Often, when all meticulously done analysis point to a successful result, an unexplained feeling of doubt or discomfort may linger on and halt the final transaction. Similarly, there are occasions when the opposite happens. We just feel like going for something even when all indications are otherwise. Papers and numbers are gross and hence have limited depth. But feelings are subtle and based on deeper sources, often beyond explanation, and yet more reliable. Management gurus advise people to listen to their ‘gut feelings’ in the face of a crisis.
It is relatively easier to break a promise made on paper, but it is far more difficult to turn back from a promise made on trust. When we do not fulfil our obligations as per the written words, we could be punished by the law of the land. But when we break someone’s trust, our own conscience would haunt us for the rest of life. This, perhaps, is the premise on which all human relations thrive. In the final analysis, papers may bind people, but trust binds souls.
Magical Mornings
With rested body, fresh mind, clean air, silent environment, dewy surroundings and lifting darkness one can easily slip into contemplative mood and tap on to the nature’s infinite hidden resources. The thoughts that we begin our day with cast powerful influence on whatever happens during the day. The magic created by the morning flows through the day.
Saturday 22 August 2009
Demystifying Depression
It is true that our expectations from life have exponentially increased in modern times. Many of these expectations are unrealistic or even contradictory. While unrealistic expectations remain unfulfilled, contradictory expectations pull us in opposite directions. Both the conditions produce internal stress, which could result in depression.
Friday 21 August 2009
Question of Equality
- Women are a weaker sex;
- Both men and women are of the same kind and hence can be compared.
In my opinion, both of these assumptions are wrong. The very fact that life is conceived, nurtured and brought into this world by a woman, despite the unbearable pain of delivery, proves that women are much stronger than men. Additionally, the physical and mental constructs of both men and women are fundamentally different, thus putting them into dissimilar categories. Comparing men with women is like comparing apples with oranges.
Both men and women possess unique qualities that complement each other. It is nature’s grand plan to maintain the difference between Yin and Yang so that the world can survive as a whole. And, it is our obligation to respect this difference and stop comparing the incomparable but equally beautiful creations of God.
Thursday 20 August 2009
Spirit of Generosity
And, yet each one of us has his/her own understanding of “giving”. Some do it to gain recognition; some others do it to gain personal favours; and still some others do it purely in form of a business transaction. Hardly anyone does it unconditionally. Joseph Kasper Lavater says, “The manner of giving shows the character of the giver than the gift itself.” It is often said that your left hand should not know what your right hand has given. One does not have to be rich to give. With the spirit of true generosity, even a pauper can give like a prince. I was touched by the following story of a boy demonstrating this spirit of true generosity:
“I once went to see a Circus with my father. Ahead of us in the queue was a family of six – parents and four young children – all excited. When they reached the window, the counter man told the proud father that their six tickets would cost $40. Hearing this, the man’s jaws dropped as he fumbled with only three $10 notes in his hand. However, oblivious of this development, children were playing excitedly. With the certainty of ending their excitement pre-maturely, blood drained out of that man’s face. At this instant, my father dropped a $10 note on the ground and tapped on that man’s shoulder saying, “This has dropped out of your pocket.” That man squeezed my father’s hand in silent gratitude as we left the queue.
Wednesday 19 August 2009
True Wealth
There are nine types of 'wealth' in the world. One who possesses all of them is the most fortunate person. These nine types of wealth are:
1. Cultured Children
- Research by the Sociologists and Psychologists all over the world has revealed that a ‘boy’ loves his mother but imitates his father and a ‘girl’ loves her father but imitates her mother.
- Children don’t do what their parents tell them to do. They do what parents themselves do.
- Children, from very early age, are most alert in observing their parents’ behavior. However, they look for consistency in any behavior and eventually imitate such consistent conduct in their own lives when they grow.
- Consequently, parents should themselves live a cultured life consistently in order to have cultured children.
2. Beloved Wife
- You marry a girl, not a wife. This girl should subsequently be transformed into a ‘wife’. It is a life-long effort.
- Physical attraction would disappear soon after marriage. But, mutual understanding is the ‘glue’ that grows with time and keeps the marriage intact. Indeed, it makes your wife beloved in due course of time.
- You must continuously make effort towards developing this understanding. Every encounter, whether pleasant or unpleasant, must lead to a deeper mutual understanding.
3. Happy-faced Husband
- When husband returns home with a long face, the entire atmosphere of the home becomes tense. This causes adverse impact on the wife and children. Such homes can never enjoy life’s happiness, no matter how much money they may have.
- Just as you don’t take home’s tension to your work while meeting your clients or boss, try leaving behind the work’s tension also at work. Force a smile on your face, if have to, while returning home.
- No problem is big enough for a family which lives in the oasis of a happy home.
4. Affectionate Friend
- True friend is one who sees your enormous fault as a mole and even a small goodness in you as a huge plus. He trusts your integrity and goodness.
- A true friend may not be by your side when you are celebrating, but he will never leave your side when you are in any trouble.
- A true friend is one to whom you can confide your secrets.
- We cannot choose our relatives, but we can certainly choose our friends. Even one true friend is enough as a great wealth.
5. Trustworthy Co-workers or Employees
- Your work is a pleasure, when you are surrounded with trustworthy people. An environment of mistrust saps your energy and happiness.
- People don’t work for money alone. How they are treated at work matters most.
6. Mind without worries
- The most effective means of keeping the mind free from worries is to keep constant company of ‘good’ literature and people (also called ‘sat sang’, literally meaning company of that which is eternal truth).
- Avoid those who indulge in loose talk and gossip. Such people fill your mind with negativity without your knowledge.
7. Pleasant Personality
- Having a beautiful or handsome body is not a guarantee of having a pleasant personality.
- Your personality becomes pleasant only when you radiate warmth of genuine love towards others around you, whether or not you possess a beautiful or handsome body.
- Everyone enjoys the company of those having pleasant personalities and despise those who don’t, despite their having the most beautiful or handsome bodies.
8. Steady wealth
- A river flooding your home is of no use to you, despite giving you enormous amount of water. On the other hand, a water-well near your home is your life-line, despite having limited water quantity but a steady supply of water whenever you need.
- Similarly, pursue that profession that provides a steady income. Don’t look forward to getting a windfall of money. It could be a source of misery for you.
9. Face glowing with Knowledge
- Knowledge is not what you read. It is merely information.
- True knowledge is what you gain as a result of applying that information into practice.
- Such knowledge makes your face glow with confidence and humility. People are naturally drawn towards such faces.
Tuesday 18 August 2009
Question of Ethics
Notwithstanding the above, ethics is important for human existence. We must remember that we are all inter-connected in the universe. A ‘good’ or ‘bad’ act by one will eventually affect all (including oneself) — now as well as in the future. What goes round comes around. Ethics, in this context, is beyond the laws of land and accepted traditions & norms of different societies. It is individual and self-imposed. It is directly proportional to one's internal (spiritual) development.
Perhaps, the following self-enquiries may help in establishing whether we are acting (and hence living) ethically:
- Do I wish others to do the same things to me as I wish to do to them?
- Will I proudly face my mother after performing the task I am about to undertake?
- Will I be able to proudly declare later to my children what I am about to do?
- Will I be able to sleep peacefully tonight after performing this task?
Monday 17 August 2009
Why fear Death?
Life, indeed, happens to us while we are busy making plans for the future. We keep searching for that illusive contentment through worldly possessions and running after borrowed dreams. We hardly live in the present where life is pulsating in glorious colours.
We miss it every moment and hence remain hungry for the life. We also know that the end can come anytime unannounced. The thought that we may die without fully living the life, generates fear of death. How much we enjoy what we have is more important than how much we have. Imagine someone always living in the present. Death for him will be a welcome rest. In this context, I am reminded of Stephen Levine’s powerful quotation:
“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?”
Saturday 15 August 2009
Power of Emotions
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Friday 14 August 2009
At Loggerheads
‘A GLIMPSE of the past’ by Irfan Husain (KT, Jan 5, 2007) highlighted an important aspect in relation to India and Pakistan. Both countries share the same history, which is the sum total of their traditions, cultures, languages etc. Why, then, are both the countries at loggerheads with each other since the Partition in 1947? Why can’t they live like two brothers who decided to quit the sanctuary of a joint family for maintaining greater peace between each other? Are we focusing more on our differences than our similarities? Who does not have differences? And, can’t we use our differences to complement our strengths and cover our weaknesses? I am reminded of the following Ghazal by the famous poet, Ali Sardar Jaffery, which echoes my views:
“Ghulam tum bhi thhe yaaron,
ghulam ham bhi thhe
Naha ke khoon mein aayi thi fasle azadi
Maza to tab tha ki milkar ilaaj-e- jaan karte
Khud apne haath se taameer-e-gulistaan karte
Hammare dard mein tum,
aur tumhare dard mein ham Shareek hote to jashne aashiyaan karte
Tum aao gulshan-e-Lahore se chaman bardosh
Hum ayen subhe Banaras ki roshni lekar
Himalaye ki hawaaon ki taazgi lekar
Aur iske baad ye punchhen kaun dushman hai.”
(You and me shed our blood for this freedom; and together we could have strived for common cures. Together… laid our gardens and shared our sorrows; and together celebrated our joys. You bring the breeze from the gardens of Lahore, we come from Banares with the light of its fabled dawn, with freshness of the winds of the eternal Himalayas, and ask of the other, who is the enemy?…)
Thursday 13 August 2009
Life is like Tea
A professor in an American university called his final year students for a farewell tea party at his home. Since the students were too many, he brought out all sorts of cups and mugs he could find in his house along with the tea and asked the students to help themselves. When everyone settled with a cup or mug in his/her hand, he asked them to analyse their feelings. He asked, "Is it not that all of you wanted to pick-up the most expensive cups? Those who got the expensive ones felt proud and those, who had to settle for cheaper cups/mugs, felt disappointed and jealous of the others. Even now, is it not that you are eyeing each other's cups? And yet, you came here to enjoy tea, which is same in every cup/mug. Most importantly, you will leave behind the cups for which you spoiled the enjoyment of tea."
Life is like tea continuously being served in a variety of pots -- name, fame, position, possessions, etc. We spend the whole life running after them, while missing to enjoy the very life contained in them. Every atom in the universe is pulsating with the same life. We can enjoy it here and now through whatever we have at present.
The Child is the father of the Man
I am reminded of a story. A man was watching the wonderful emergence of a butterfly from the skin of a caterpillar. Seeing the butterfly’s struggle to break out of the tight skin, he decided to help. He tore open the skin making it easier for the butterfly to come out. However, on emergence, the butterfly fell on the ground fluttering its wings in vain. His kindness killed the creature that could have mesmerised the world with its beauty. Nature has its own design to prepare every creature for its survival in the world. The butterfly’s struggle was the process of strengthening the wings.
Similarly, every child must grow through a process of struggle at every stage. It struggles to breathe soon after the birth. It struggles to turn when curious of its surroundings. It struggles to walk when fired with the desire of reaching for tempting objects. The journey goes on until obsessive parents interrupt it with their excessively caring approach. Perhaps, the hyper parenting has more to do with parents’ needs to feel important than it does with their child’s needs. Besides, how long parents can be around to provide protection? It is necessary to protect a sapling from the attacks of harsh weather. It is also desirable to provide support when the plant is growing. But, the protective support must be gradually withdrawn as the plant grows in its size and strength. Nature knows how to protect. Let’s give enough breathing space and elbow room to our children so that they may spread their wings fully, while we are still around, and soar high in the sky later.
Driving reveals true Personality
I wonder how one would drive, if his/her picture is displayed on the outside.
Wednesday 12 August 2009
Fame Mentality
Most of us have now acquired ‘fame mentality.’ We see a celebrity sporting a dress or an accessory and we start seeing ourselves in them. We want to remain in fashion, which is changing faster than our earning capacities. We ‘somehow’ pay for all these and take prides in being part of ‘high society.’ We never realise that no model pay for what they sport. We also fail to see that anything worn by them would look attractive, thanks to their well-managed physiques. But, is the same thing true with our physical constructs? And, what about our happiness?
The secret of happiness lies in managing desires, not in pampering and purposelessly pursuing them. But for this, one has to have a meaningful purpose in life. Desires would then get a direction and transform into real needs. Then, life can be lived based on ‘needs’ for a purpose giving happiness in the process. Then, whatever you do would become ‘fashion’ for the rest. The bare footed famous painter - M. F. Hussain - is the modern day evidence of this fact.
Monday 10 August 2009
Conscience Calling
Conscience is like a mariner’s compass — always pointing towards that which is ‘right’. We all carry this ‘conscience.’ Yet, while some of us hardly even recognise its presence, some ignore its calling and some rare ones respond. It appears that such differences have something to do with our 'selfishness'.
Some of us are so busy with our selfish gratifications that nothing else exists beyond our own interests. Conscience does not bother such people. Then, there are those who accept the presence of others, but attempt to fulfil their own interests even at the cost of other’s interests. Such people often ignore their conscience’s calls. Rare indeed are those who always put others’ interests first. Conscience appears to support every act of such individuals. They are always at peace with themselves.
Randy Pausch: The Last Lecture
Randy Pausch was the professor of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University. He pioneered research in linking Art with Computer Science. He introduced innovative courses and became the role model for entire teaching faculty in USA by imparting knowledge in the most entertaining ways. Pausch learned that he had pancreatic cancer, a terminal illness, in September of 2006. On September 18, 2007, Carnegie Mellon invited him to deliver this "Last Lecture". He died on July 25, 2008.
In this "Last Lecture", Pausch talks about how he fulfilled his childhood dreams, how he helped others fulfil their childhood dreams and what he learnt in life along the way. This video is deeply moving and enlightening.
While watching this video, I jotted down the following "Head Fakes" (Paush's indirect learnings):
- Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted.
- Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things.
- Wait long enough and people will surprise you and impress you.
- Decide if you're Tigger (Happy) or Eeyore (Sad).
- Never lose child-like wonder.
- Help others.
- Loyalty is a two-way street.
- If you are a girl and if a boy is attracted towards you, then ignore what he says and only pay attention to what he does to know his genuinity.
- Never give-up.
- You can't get there alone. This is how you can get people to help you:
· Believe in Karma (What goes round, comes around)
· Tell the truth.
· Be earnest.
· Apologise when you screw up.
· Focus on others, not yourself. - Get a feedback-loop; and listen to it.
- Show gratitude, where it is due.
- Don’t complain; just work harder.
Following are Pausch's Important Advices:
- Be good at something; it makes you valuable.
- Work hard...People would ask, "What is your secret?"
- Find the best in everybody; no matter how long you have to wait for them to show it.
- Be prepared: "Luck" is where preparation meets opportunity.
Sunday 9 August 2009
Old is Gold
Will Durant says, “(Alas!) If youth had wisdom of the old and the old had energy of the youth, then the world would have been a heaven.” A car needs both the ‘accelerator’ and the ‘brake’ for its safe journey. Similarly, society needs both the ‘youth’ (providing energy) and the ‘old’ (providing wisdom) for its peace and progress. We can certainly bridge the generation gap if youth respects and seeks ‘wisdom’ from the old and the old believes in the ‘energy’ of the ‘youth’.
My humble advice to the children and adult is to not miss any opportunity of learning from the older generations whether at home or at work. What you learn from them is not theoretical; it is down-right applicable to your own lives. It is a bit like the relay race in which the older generation passes on the baton of experience to the younger generation in keeping the race for progress going.
Saturday 8 August 2009
What precedes Thoughts?
In a recent experiment, it was scientifically established that one becomes aware of a thought about 30 seconds after it has occurred to him/her. It is clear from this experiment that we cannot create thoughts and, therefore, cannot control them. Whatever we say about the state preceding thoughts can only be a 'concept.'
However, we can surely analyse what happens after thoughts occur to us. As soon as a thought occurs, the mind reacts spontaneously based on its conditioning and may propel the body into action - again almost spontaneously - if required. As soon as a thought is thus dealt with, another strange thing happens. The mind starts dwelling on that thought or the result of the action just performed. It either rambles backward in the past associating with past experiences or projects it into the future building hopes, anticipation and anxiety. Indeed, it is this trait of the mind that causes unending mental worries. What was a pure ‘happening’ without any of its control now becomes its ‘doing’ with associated pride or guilt. Ego is thus nourished. We perpetually live in such chain reactions of our thoughts accepting the mental 'noise' as 'normal.'
However, one may quieten this mental noise by simply observing the mind and its various ramblings in a detached manner. The pace of any event appears slower under intense scrutiny of unbiased 'observation.' For example, when you watch a clock continuously, it appears to move much slower. When such a practice is done repeatedly, mind begins to understand its futility in rambling between past and future. It starts lowering its gear until it is 'parked.'
This is perhaps what Sage Patanjali meant when he said, “Guide your thought process to Silence.” In a still mind, one gets a clear glimpse of reality – as it is – bringing internal peace and everlasting bliss. The world (and life) then becomes a mere play only to be enjoyed in all circumstances.
Friday 7 August 2009
Outsourcing Guests
How painful would it be looking at wedding photographs in which you could hardly relate to anyone, and which would always remind you of the put-on show? Instead, would it not be better to perform the ritual in the simplest manner with relatives, friends and genuine guests and spend the extra money on arranging the marriage of a poor girl who would never forget such a kind gesture till she lives?
Wednesday 5 August 2009
Art imitates Life
Some time back in the year 2005, I came across a news item "Prostitutes take centre stage to overturn stigma” reporting on how a renowned theatre group, ‘Nandikar’ in Kolkata (India), attempted to remove the stigma attached to prostitution by staging a play in which all the 23 actresses were professional sex workers depicting their humane aspect. It was reported that ordinary men and women in the audience sobbed and cried as the play unfolded.
It is said, “There is nothing right in history except names and dates. And, there is nothing wrong in drama except names and dates.” Art will always imitate life. No society can stifle creative minds. They will always find ways and means of expressing themselves. It is up to us what type of society we wish to create, live in and leave behind.
Small Act, Big Satisfaction
Gaining Happiness
Happiness = (No. of Desires fulfilled) / (No. of Desires entertained).
Thus, happiness increases with the number of desires fulfilled and decreases with the number of desires entertained. Mathematically, happiness would be infinite if no desire is entertained at all.
Happiness can also be defined as that state of mind where all agitations cease. Desire is the seed of all agitations. Imagine you are relaxing with a vacant mind. Suddenly, a random thought of eating chocolate enters your mind. You indulge in this thought indiscriminately. It gathers momentum. The mind is no longer calm. It is now filled with the turbulent desire of eating chocolate. You have now posited your happiness in the chocolate. Helplessly, you look for and get the chocolate. The first bite of the chocolate calms the turbulence in the mind. Mind is again vacant of any thought. A feeling of happiness spreads. But only until the next thought turns itself into another desire. Happiness was never in the chocolate. It was always within you. You lost it by planting a desire of the chocolate and regained it by clearing that desire.
Happiness is our original nature and we are helplessly driven towards it when we lose it. A German philosopher, Schopenhauer, appropriately puts it, ‘It is difficult to find happiness within oneself, but it is impossible to find it anywhere else.’ We are filled with innumerable desires — desires for material objects, desires for sensuous experiences, desires for love, desires for recognition, etc. We are never free from any desire. No sooner a desire is fulfilled, many others come in. We expect each desire to be fulfilled and give ‘happiness’. However, this is not always possible. Consequently, we are often left with frustration, depression and anger.
I believe that each one of us is born with an inherent talent and an urge to express it. Problem begins when we start building unrealistic expectations out of whatever we do or don't do. The key is to let the latent talent surface naturally without any hindrance of speculations or expectations. And, the secret of contentment lies in full expression of this inherent talent.
The key to Happiness, then, is to thoughtfully monitor every desire. If it is not in line with your inherent talent, then promptly drop it so that it fails to gather any momentum. And, if it is in line with your inherent talent, then convert it into a meaningful pursuit with no obsession for any return. Every pursuit will then become only an urge to express your inherent talent. Just as a flower blooms, river flows, bird sings, and sun shines without any particular desire to be fulfilled.
Tuesday 4 August 2009
Your look depends upon your outlook
Our thoughts shape our personalities and are mirrored in our looks. Consequently, what we think influences how we look. Persons, whose thoughts never rise above the level of material possessions and sensual enjoyment, always worry about their looks. You can never find peace in such company — no matter how handsome or beautiful they may look. On the other hand, persons whose thoughts rest on compassion and co-operation reflect contentment. It is a delight to be in their company — no matter how they look. Maturity of thoughts adds grace to the age. Such people, despite age, remain youthful in their outlook. Lines on their faces truly tell tales of hardship, sorrow, grief, happiness and triumph. Having lived a life of fulfilment, they die with childlike smile on their lips. History immortalizes such faces with pride. So, let's watch our thoughts more than our looks.
Can Science explain Faith?
Indeed, Faith is the essence of life. You dine in a restaurant with the faith that the food is not poisoned. You fly in an aeroplane with the faith that the plane will not crash. You sleep in your house with the faith that the roof will not collapse on you. We can hardly live without 'faith'.
Every scientific search is also pursued with 'faith' (not a doubt). Thomas Edison pursued his experiments despite failing over 2000 times as he had 'faith' in discovering a light bulb. Today, all over the world, scientists are pursuing research for AIDS vaccine with an unflinching faith of finding one.
How can science explain faith when it is also based on faith? Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.
Why to Marry?
There is hardly any human born without any weakness. Weaknesses vary in number and types from person to person. However, one aspires to rise above these weaknesses and strives for becoming a better human being. Through centuries of ‘trials-and-errors’, societies around the world have evolved the ‘institution of marriage’. A ‘successful’ marriage can create an environment which is conducive for transforming human ‘weaknesses’ into ‘strengths’. Desire of ‘possessing’ can become obligatory duty of ‘custodianship', urge for ‘companionship’ can evolve into a feeling of ‘compassion', blind ‘lust’ can turn into fragrant ‘love’, hope of leaving behind a ‘name’ can be fulfilled and converted into a mission of leaving behind a better human being in form of ‘children’, and so on.
The current trend of the 'Soloists' is a case of ‘emotional stunting’. How could true self-discovery be possible when you’ve never shared your hopes and fears, or indeed a bathroom, with anybody?
Monday 3 August 2009
Handwritten Memories
Those were the times when postman's arrival evoked much anticipation. Handwritten address on the envelope conveyed warmth. While opening it, you could visualize the face of the writer. If the letter happens to be from a heart-throb, almost certainly a whiff of sweet fragrance would fill your nostrils. Recognition of the sender from the handwriting would instantly change the priority of the hour. Every word of the letter would be lapped through the eyes paying due attention to its writing, placement, emphasis or even cancellation as an afterthought. Each of these observations could convey unwritten thoughts going through the writer's mind several hundred miles away. A word with smudged ink in the middle of a sentimental sentence won't fail to present the vision of uncontrollable sobs. A dried rose-leaf folded between the papers would bring forth the whole bouquet of sweetest emotions.
Is Silence the best virtue?
I am reminded of the following advice.
When you get the urge of speaking, ask yourself the following questions first:
- Is it sensible, based on truth and facts?
- Is it absolutely necessary to say?
- Is it beneficial to anybody around?
If the answer to all the above questions is 'yes', then watch the manner in which you say. It should be gentle and suggestive rather than rude and authoritative.
What it means to be alive?
"Curiosity is an instinct, like Breathing. And, in our world, wonders never cease to fire our curiosity. The world challenges, mystifies and entertains. It is part playground, part laboratory, part untamed territory. It is an infinite source of inspiration. It is an invitation to discover. And the discovery resides at the very core of what it means to be alive. We embrace the world for all that it is, for all its beauty, genius and surprise. To us, the world is just awesome."
Sunday 2 August 2009
Credit Card or Debt Trap
Many of us live with the myth that credit card is an additional source of money. At least, that is what the attractive promos would make us believe. While in reality, it is only a convenient and 'tempting' way of spending our own earnings. I have been a credit card user myself since a long time and have successfully avoided falling into the 'Debt Trap' by practicing the following simple rules:
- No spending (whether through 'cash' or 'credit card') is outside the monthly expenditure plan.
- Credit card is only a 'convenient' and 'safe' alternative to Cash.
- Keep receipt of every transaction, whether carried out in person or through Internet.
- While checking out of a hotel, obtain & tear the slip of blocking money on credit card.
- Always make 'full' payment by the due date. But, only after cross-checking the bill with the receipts.
- While travelling, if you need to spend more than your credit limit, make suitable deposit in your credit card prior to travelling.
- Protect your credit card just as you would protect cash.
As credit card users, we can not avoid being borrowers. But, may we not remain 'borrowers' beyond the due dates. There are no free lunches in the world.
What worth is Money?
Is money worthless? Not at all. It is required - to fulfil physical needs. And, it should not be given any more exaggerated value. However, when we carefully share it with those who are struggling to make their both ends meet, we get in return the joy that cannot come from spending the same upon ourselves. This, when done without arrogance, make the money more than its worth.
Saturday 1 August 2009
Dreaming Careers for Children
Parents often hold the view that they know what their children should do when they grow.
In reality, they are only trying to realise their own unfulfilled dreams through their children. If we were objectives, we would realise that every child is like a seed with its own unique potentials which are manifested in form of fruits that come out of it when it grows. How many children are alike in the same family receiving the same environment for growth?
So, as parents, what can we do? All we can do is to spot the natural talent in our child early on and nurture carefully without exerting pressures. We should help our children to determine their basic natures and then nurture the same with patience and care.
One way of finding the basic nature for any one is to jot down whatever thoughts come in the mind first thing as one gets up. Repeat this exercise for a week without referring to the previous lists. After a week, compare all the lists and select those thoughts that were most repeated and prioritise them in the order of most repetitions. One would most likely be left with only two or three thoughts in the end. They will clearly indicate one's basic nature. This exercise can be repeated several times during the growing years of a child to confirm his/her basic nature.
Lastly, no work is 'great' or 'small'. You need all types of weather to make up a year. If a squirrel cannot carry forests on its back, neither a mountain can crack a nut.
Would the Buddha need a BMW?
It is all about 'Standard of Life' versus 'Quality of Life'. While 'Standard of Life' depends upon others' approval, 'Quality of Life' entirely depends upon our own internal yardsticks. One may live a very high standard of life (flashy car, expensive clothes, decorative palatial homes, etc.), yet the quality of his / her life may be very low (full of stress, disease, unhappiness). Similarly, the quality of life could be very high, irrespective of the standard of life.
In the absence of clearly defined goals based on proper assessment of individual capacity & affordability, we tend to mimic others. When we see everyone competing to raise his / her standard of living, we also follow blindly. Modern techniques of marketing thrive on such a situation in society, where 'needs' are constantly created often beyond our 'means'.
Buddha indeed had much more than a BMW as a young prince, yet he found them unnecessary in meeting his life's goal. He was after the 'highest' quality of life. If we too wish to raise quality of life, we must pause and ponder: "What is my real goal? What do I need to realise it? Do I have the required means? Can I afford them? If not, what can I do to earn them? etc." The 'Standard of Life' would then become inconsequential and incidental.